oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
