Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
