i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
