All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
