If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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