What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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