I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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