just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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