So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
