Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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