"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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