Dual....:-)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
