I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
