Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
