don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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