Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
