So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
