Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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