As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
