too bad you live with your parents still
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
