New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
