I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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