This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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