I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
a search helicopter?!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
