I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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