Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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