Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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