I cockslap morals
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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