There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
