I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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