How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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