Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
