Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
