im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She bit a glass in half.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
