omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
