Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
