I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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