Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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