Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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