How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
