I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
