lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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