So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
