I can text with my tongue
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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