Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
