Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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