good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
