i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
