just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
