Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
