forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
